The ups and downs of recovery

Some days I feel like I am absolutely on top of the world. Other days I wonder why I work so hard and get nowhere . . . now I know that's not true but I want it all. It has occurred to me over the past several days that I have had a pretty remarkable recovery thus far. I am leg pressing 200 pounds. I am far more muscular than I ever imagined I would be. All of that being said -- I still am incredibly stiff when I sit too long and I have weird pains that make me catch my breath and occasionally my body just doesn't want to move. But if I had to assign a number to how far recovered I think I am, I would say about 80%. My external rotation still has a ways to go and when I work out, my left side is still weaker than my right. I think the answer is probably that the first 80% goes pretty fast and the remaining 20% comes very slowly. If this is, in fact, true it could be the death of me. :-) I have said that I like forward progress at all times. I push and most of the time I get results. I don't get results when I push with this. Ugh!! No matter what I do, my progress seems to be the same right now. I think I have plateaued . . it's forcing me to live in the middle instead of at the extreme and I don't do well there. I can either be a complete lazy couch potato or I can work out 2 hours every day but there is no in-between with me. It's the same with this hip progression . . either stop and go forward at light speed.

Ok . . . whining done for the night. Thanks for hanging in there with me while I got it off my chest.

I worked out with my personal trainer yesterday who was fresh off meeting and watching Dara Torres work out. She added some new tricks to my repertoire and I am feeling it today. ouch!! Tomorrow is physical therapy with Sharon where she will push the limits of my legs and hips trying to make me look good for my appointment with Dr. P. So glad that I have her as I think I need some good stretching too.

I have been traveling for work and not doing my stretching and exercising like I should and can definitely feel it. I am stiff and sore and need someone to give me a swift kick in the ass . . . I think Sharon is just the person to do it . . and then make it feel better. :-)

The big deal that I have been working on made a decision to hire someone else today. :-( Bummer!!! We busted our butts to do these presentations and really thought they were going to choose us. I feel a little down tonite because of that too.

And, the ankle that got damaged during surgery (from the traction) is still screwed up. Still no feeling in my ankle or the top of my foot. My ankle is still swollen - a bit of a cankle. I can't wear shoes that cross the top of my foot because it feels weird. I am worried that my foot is permanently damaged. Of course, I am worried about everything tonite so this just gets added to the list.

If I didn't have a really busy day at work tomorrow, I would consider a Vicodin vacation from the soreness and stiffness tonite but it's a full day of conference calls and call reports tomorrow so I must have my wits about me . . . at least what is left of my wits after the drinking fest that was my birthday last weekend.

Yes, it's true, I turned 50 on Monday. I feel really old now when I tell people not only am I 50 but I have also had hip surgery. ugh!!!

I am a little frustrated tonite if you can't tell. Everything really is good; I just want more. . .. the story of my life!